My paradise

Truth “You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background,” sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.
“If I wasn’t under oath, I’d return the compliment,” replied the witness.

Save a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirtsto Oxfam. They will wash and iron them and you can buythem back for fifty pence.
Suck the eyes from attacking zombies using a Black &Decker “Dustbuster.” The zombies will then wander aim-lessly and can be dispatched by the more usual methodsat a more leisurely pace.
Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet anddipping your chin into a bowl of iron filings.
X-Files fans. Create the effect of being abducted byaliens by drinking two bottles of vodka. You’ll invar-iably wake up in a strange place the following morning,having had your memory mysteriously “erased.”
A hedgehog trained to scuttle up and down the table fromguest to guest makes an unusual mobile cheese and pineapplecube nibble dispenser at cocktail parties.
Domestos is an ideal substitute for Blue Curaco, and farless pricey. It gives any cocktail a bit of “oomph.”
Whilst in bed protect yourself from vampires and werewolvesby hiding under the covers.